lunedì 27 aprile 2009

Arms against depression

Hi everybody, here is a list of tools I use for combating depression from unemployment.
  1. A swimming pool season ticket, the most useful thing you can bring with you when you wake up

  1. "What colour is your parachute?" a book by Mr Bolle on how to find your dram job, if any.
  2. "Mental Training", a book my prof. Tupperware, the inventor of plastic cans, on how to suppress thinkings which tend to bog us down

  1. alcohol and friends

...any other suggestion? This database will be updated on a regular basis.

More Gray than Dorian.

Here a picture of the first days being unemployed.
The issue is whether this time has to be spent in the effort to grab a new temporary job, whatever it may be, or needs to be taken as an opportunity to rethink my mission in life. My answer is: the second you said. These past days have actually begun very well, and full of human touches. I went out with a friend for a beer and, having realized that I was desperately unemployed and she seemed much stronger than I was, when she asked: "so, what is your battle plan?", I quietly talked a bit a then left. Then, on the train home, I started to feel dizzy and wishing to vomit. I rushed out and kneeled on the trottoir. I was with my head declined, my mouth open and rivers of saliva going down to the floor. I was waiting for the acid-sour vomit to occupy all my aesophagus and rush out irresistible like a volcano. I was there quietly waiting as a sheep in the slaughterhouse. Then, a person gave me a napkin and asked me if I wanted an ambulance Noo! I said, as I am not covered by social security - meaning that I cannot never take an ambulance if I do not want to spend 500 Eur for that. The lady went away. No no I am fine, I repeated while spitting on the floor. Then a while, another came and I saw a brownish hand and another napkin in my visual field "Take take it for later". I heightened my sight, I say a veiled woman. She was African, apparently aged 40, with 3 children. I asked her to walk me towards home, after having known that she was going in that direction and that it was a walkable distance.
She told me that she was from Somalia, she was political refugiée in Belgium. She had lost her husband on the civil war. "The killed him in front of me", she lost her house that day, so she took her three children, the oldest one aged 5, and come to Belgium. Then she worked as a personal assistant of elderly people, staying with them from the morning till the evening. Boring job, and hard. But that day was her free day and she had a big smile on her face.
She told, never stop to fight, we have to fight, and never stop. God gives us the strength.
Other would say: Pray as everything depended on God, work as everythig depended on you.
She said: "this is fine, everything will be ok, do not stop fighting.
Thanks woman. May God bless you for your act of charity and for the admiration you have inspired me.


mercoledì 22 aprile 2009

Sono amico di Sofri!

Wow! Ma quello è amico di Adriano Sofri!
"Oooh, but...this guy is friend with Adriano Sofri "- a smart friend of mine told me, full of admiration.
This conversation happened because we saw that the former Italian politician had commented on that guy's status on facebook. The two of us were suspicious. Shall he be a jurk, using the name of the famous Italian former politician?
Therefore, I tried the scientific method and directly asked frienship to Sofri.
Well, you do not have to be an intellectual to do it, you just tell him you want, and ....pluf, you are his friends!
So...if that is qualifying, this is a zero-cost way to qualify yourself as "Oooh, this guy is Sofri's friend, God, what an intellectual!"
2. follow the instructions to create an account
4. ask frienship
5. wait 30 minutes
et voilà!
You already feel better, don't you?

martedì 21 aprile 2009

The diary of an UnEmployed workaholic

Nojob. Unemployed.
Hi, here I am. And I am not the only one
But, unlike them, I am alone.

So I resoluted to take this as a chance to think over my adventurous life, with the aim to try to make it even more adventurous, and to seed the seeds of success. I have thanked my emplyers for what they could give me, I have bought myself a cheap but nice printer, named Clara, super-efficient and still smelly of plastic and petroleum just as babies smell like an internal organ when they see light for the first time.

I resoluted to give myself a routine during the future days I will be home alone looking for myself, and some exterior targets, so not to lose sight of the time, and not to lose my mind. This is the same psychologist recommended for the victims of Abruzzo's heartquake in Italy

I decided that:

  • I will go to swim every day at 8am
  • I will lose 5 kilos, together with a friend (but still, 5 kilos each!), by the 10th of July
  • I will keep track of my experience on this blog, once or twice a day.

Why all that? To add even more crap to the overwhelmed web and give away my last piece of privacy? Well yes, also. But not only.

  • I think this can help me to get a sort of routine
  • I think that this will force myself to make the point of my situation requently, therefore better monitor my mood and better think where I am pointing
  • I think this will satisfy my exhibitionism, a bit like the "romanzi epistolari" do (the novels which consist in a fictional exchange of letters)
  • I think I will feel less alonw, because I will communicate in writing

And, for my fellows:

  • I know that I am not the only one, so, let just me do the coming-out first, if this can help you. I am unemployed, but I am good, beautiful and passionate
  • I give you the chance to have your say in a blurred life
  • I give you the hint that you might also want to employ me...
  • I can exchange experiences
So, be prepared, and follow me if you wish. I will try to be at the heigth of the situation, I promise.



domenica 19 aprile 2009

What Lucia di Lammermoor has to say to us

I have watched today Gaetano Donizetti's Lucia di Lammermoor at the Opera house La Monnaie in Brussels. I cried like a child, also because I had a person in mind, I hold an unhappy love for someone, therefore I am very sensitive to this kind of topics. Even if the difference is that Lucia's love is corresponded but oppsed by her brother, whereas my love is not corresponded. Whatever.
Lucia is the sister of a Scottish noble, who wants to marry her to a perspective political ally; but she loves Edgardo, and before he must temporarily leave for France, they promise fidelity one to the other. Letters of Edgardo are destroied by Lucia's brother, and a false letter, which states that Edgardo has married another woman, is also fabricated, to inuce Lucia to renegate her love and marry the politician. She so does. But before being possessed by this man, having seed Edgardo abruptly arrive at the wedding, she kills her husbard and becomes folly, then she kills herself. Edgardo sees her about to die, and follows her in death.
I found this opera interesting for a series of reasons.
First, it teaches that repression brings to heavier and greater consequencies. Repression cannot cancel an istinct, it can just make it work and turn it sour, thus contributing to its later explosion.
secondly, it gives an idea of how disapproval and, broadly, reputation, especially sense of duty, can be manipulated to make one person substantially abdicate his inviolable rights. Lucia does not want to marry the politician, no-no. And until she declares her will, nobody can really do anything with that. But the sense of duty (help you brother!), the disapproval (your dead mother would be happy if you do that!) and the reputation (hey, Edgardo is a jerk!) are played against her to induce her to consent. This done, she bears all the responsibility for this act, because it was her who abdicated. Therefore, what first was just formal (the acceptance of the marriage) now becomes substantial (she is despised by Edgardo later, as unfaithful). Nobody should take permission to manipulate somebody's will, and nobody should let his will curbed by argumentation based on pride, reputation, raison d'Etat and so on. Because he is going to bear the bad consequences for that, for real!
Thirdly, the role of religion - controlling rage, but also curbing the will, opium for the people. This appears really well in the drama. The arcibishop lastly convince Lucia to accept the marriage, playing with her pride; he gratulates her for her sacrifice, which Heaven will appreciate, he discourages Edgardo to kill people at the wedding, he pushes him out of the wedding room, he finally, after having done all that, deprecates the homicide committed by Lucia as an orrible act, prays when she is dieing, and recommends to the dieing Edgardo to "think to Heaven". Disgusting!

Finally, it teaches how stupid people can be, just being violent, and not listening. Inaction is also a crime, and compliance against oneself as a crime. Miscommunication is the cause of many many deeds.