When you are about having sex, you shall protect your body and you MUST protect your spirit.
In my view, the physical act in itself may not particularly incisive, as it contains something phisiological which reduces it to a tender, endearing, sef-caring activity. I once experienced that, and the act passed through my mind innocently and rapidly. I heard someone saying that a man in its twenties shall have sex with the woman he dates, because it is somehow "natural".
However, sex acquires a superior human meaning when human brain is involved.
A friend of mine, a chemist, insists on saying that the particular conformation of female brain makes women less emotionally resilient and this is why they e.g. suffer more from breakups.
Well, I think this is bullshit. But I know what obsession is. I have lived my life having my boyfriends as my best friends ever, because the compassion and solidarity could pass through the words and through the hands at the same time. Therefore, I have always been uncapable to break ties with a male former partner.
While the counterparty cools down, I cannot disconnect at once the brainly part with the physical part, therefore I tend to consider it physically and socially at the same time, so that its desirability becomes outstanding.
Here sex becomes potentially very harmful.
The reason of that is that while I continue to conceive sex with the counterparty as a both physical and social encounter, the counterparty has regressed to the physiological motivation for sex. Therefore the illusion of finding each other again last just as the physical act lasts, but it panfully ruins after it is over.
Then, I begin to aperceive the discrepancy of views between the two of us and I feel humiliated and depressed. But I do not admit it is my fault, not because I "fell in temptation", but because I did not pose my mind to the fact that there was a misconception from the beginning of the act, because we considered it in a different way.
So what? You would ask.
Well, I took almost 3 years to realize that, as easy as it might seem, and I will be soon in a situation when I will risk to "repeat" the experiment. I will check if I learned something from experience...